I like to plan. I may have a messy house but I’m a happy person if I have enough clean clothes in my closet and enough meals in my fridge to last me through the week.
And I can go with the flow and pick up the slack and keep my cool in an emergency … unless someone knew it was going to happen and forgot to tell me so I could plan ahead. Nothing boils my blood faster.
I suppose that this fact is making God chuckle at me a little this week as I wait to close on my new home (eeek!!!! Momentary ecstatic freak out over being a first time homeowner!) It was supposed to be on Nov. 15. Then on Nov. 26. Then the 27th. But Monday they told me it would be Thursday the 29th. As I write this to post on Thursday, who knows if I’ll be a new homeowner as you read it? Or not?
And that kills me.
But it doesn’t, God reminded me today, not really. It doesn’t kill me at all. I have a warm, dry place to stay with cousins who are dear to me and have graciously opened their home (and their delicious food) to me for as long as I might need it. I have a marvelous new job at LifeWay Christian Resources that I feel excited about every morning. So much so, it kind of feels more like they’re letting me in every morning to come and work on VBS materials, instead of making me be there for my working hours. Everything seems to be going really well right now, a true gift from God.
It’s just not how I planned it.
And what it really comes down to in the end, God pointed out very convictingly today, is whether I trust him to take care of things, to make them work out, even if it wasn’t how I wanted it. Do I trust him to care enough for me enough to take care of me? I haven’t always. I often don’t. But I’m trying.
More than anything, I want this home to be God’s, to honor him, and to be used to welcome people and remind them of his peace and comfort. And if it’s going to do that, it really needs to start off this way, held loosely in my hands and tightly in his so that it will always be used just the way he wants it. May it always be so. And God forgive the impatience that continues regardless of these realizations!