Assertiveness: Do You Stand Up For Yourself Enough?


Photo by Bethany Brown
Are you too assertive? Not assertive enough? Find out with this quiz!

Girls, grab a pen and a piece of scrap paper. It’s time for a pop quiz! Now, I know that is one of the most dreaded phrases in the English language, but don’t worry! There is no grade for this one.

1. If a girl at school tells you that Christians are losers and lame, what do you do?
A. Look down and walk away as quickly as you can.
B. Ask her what makes her think that.
C. Say, “No, we aren’t! You are lame for saying that!”
2. You are at the mall and just found a really cute new shirt on sale.  When you are paying, you realize that the cashier forgot to take off the 30%. What do you do?
A. Pay full price- you must have been wrong about the sale and don’t want to be a bother.
B. Politely ask the cashier about the sale price.
C. Insist on speaking to the manager and demand a discount.
3. You are at a restaurant and the waitress gets your order wrong and brings you your least favorite meal- meat loaf and Brussel sprouts! What do you do?
A. Choke down a few bites and hope there is a sandwich at home to eat.
B. Say, “Excuse me, but I think I ordered the hamburger and fries. Is this someone else’s meal?”
C. Roll your eyes and announce to the table that the waitress is terrible.

Okay! Look at your answers.
-Mostly A’s: Shy Sally. You are trying so hard to be nice that you sometimes get overlooked. It’s okay to speak up for yourself! Sometimes people don’t know when they are short changing you. It’s okay to nicely bring it to their attention- everybody forgets things. As for those people who are really trying to be mean, it helps to stand up to them! 1 Corinthians 16:13 states, “Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men of courage; be strong.” Stand firm against those who are mean to you by showing them the love of Christ.
-Mostly B’s: Bubbily Betty. You are doing a great job! Keep up the balance being nice to those around you while making sure you are treated fairly. You are an example to those around you.
-Mostly C’s: Cranky Cindy. Sometimes, your actions may come off as abrasive.    Remember, it’s a lot easier to make and keep friends with a smile and a few kind words. You may not mean to be harsh, but just take a minute before speaking to make sure you are showing Christ’s love, no matter how upset you are. Look at Ephesians 4:29, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”

Being assertive isn’t a bad thing. It helps to make sure you are heard and your opinions are considered. When have you had to be assertive? Do you have any tips for Shy Sally’s or Cranky Cindy’s?


3 thoughts on “Assertiveness: Do You Stand Up For Yourself Enough?

  1. Every word in this piece of work is very clear and your passion for this topic shines. Please continue your work in this area and I hope to see more from you in the future.

  2. Claudia says:

    I moved away from my main group of friends a nbumer of years ago because of work, and our lives have all taken many twists and turns since such that we have all found maintaining our friendships at their previous level difficult. I still miss these friends and though I have made others, these friendships do not seem to have the same depth and it is not just because they are newer. As I get older, I find that people seem to have less time and energy for friendship among the competing demands of work and family, and I find this sad although I am guilty of it also. When I moved here, I also met some people who I felt offered potential as friends, but they seemed to already have as many friends as they could cope with and were not really interested in including any more. I would do anything to help my friends, but I could not say the same of all of them. However, one of the pleasures of getting older is that one gets more philosophical about peoples’ capabilities and alters expectations accordingly. My husband remains my best friend and our relationship compensates much for any perceived shortcomings of others. I have also had the enjoyment of forging much better relationships with siblings and some relatives as we have all “grown up” a bit.

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